In the season 7 finale “Requiem,” for the first time in a long line of denial we finally hear Scully say she has seen things she can’t deny. It’s a big moment, her finally acknowledging that aliens exist. The difference is she’s finally open to it.

Sure it might just be a convenient time for her to believe because David Duchovny is about to leave the show and they can turn the only character the fans have left into the believer and add a new skeptic in Doggett. It would work, because we love Scully just as much as Mulder, and the two have always been equal protagonists. But the reason the show still works after Mulder leaves, as the “main character,” is because the show really is just as much Scully’s, and has been from the start. In some ways it’s actually more her story. After all, she experiences the most change over the course of the series.

When Mulder enters the office, after Scully admitting what she can no longer deny, she’s staring at the I Want To Believe poster. This moment isn’t explicitly brought to the audience’s attention. In fact, the moment Scully really sees the poster for the first time is an easy one to miss. Mulder just starts talking to her and she looks away from it, uncrossing her arms and coming out of a deep thought. It’s about the “want” in I Want to Believe. The truth is out there; you just have to be open to it.

But why now, after 7 years? It was all her experience in Africa. She saw a little too much of the proof she’d been seeking. Not only alien ships with alien writing, but all intermingled with scripture from the Bible, complete with frightening plagues. Scully had always believed in God–ironic when she was always so skeptical about everything else. It’s even more ironic that her religious beliefs eventually lead her to believe in aliens. And it’s even more beautiful when you realize that Mulder’s experiences with the paranormal lead him to believe in Scully’s God as well.

Not long after “Requiem,” in the two-part season 8 premiere, “Within”/”Without,” we see Scully alone, out in the middle of the desert, searching desperately for Mulder with nothing more than a flashlight. It’s incredibly romantic, but also metaphoric for where she is on her journey. In the beginning, she opposed Mulder and stood within the majority of people who don’t believe in aliens. In the end Scully believes and she’s all alone, just as Mulder was alone in the beginning of the series.

“Wherever Mulder is, he damn well better be smiling,” Scully says, finally realizing the pain and frustration she put him through. Now Doggett gives her a taste of her own medicine.

Scully has finally become one of them–the Mulders and Maxes–the alone and unbelieved—-an outsider–and when she does, I have more respect for her than ever.

“They said the birds refused to sing and the thermometer fell suddenly as if God Himself had His breath stolen away. No one there dared speak aloud, as much in shame as in sorrow. They uncovered the bodies one by one. The eyes of the dead were closed as if waiting for permission to open them. Were they still dreaming of ice cream and monkey bars? Of birthday cake and no future but the afternoon? Or had their innocence been taken along with their lives buried in the cold earth so long ago? These fates seemed too cruel, even for God to allow. Or are the tragic young born again when the world’s not looking? I want to believe so badly; in a truth beyond our own hidden and obscured from all but the most sensitive eyes… In the endless procession of souls… in what cannot and will not be destroyed. I want to believe we are unaware of God’s eternal recompense and sadness. That we cannot see His truth. That that which is born still lives and cannot be buried in the cold earth. But only waits to be born again at God’s behest… where in ancient starlight we lay in repose.”

There’s no shortage of sad moments in The X-Files. Whether it’s the death of Scully’s sister or Mulder’s mother, or Mulder crying at Scully’s bedside as she lies dying of cancer, or when Scully decides to give up William for his own safety, or the death of Max, The Lone Gunmen, or a plethora of other beloved characters, there are many reasons to cry.

Since I was a kid, my dad has been teasing me relentlessly about watching this “melodramatic,” “far-fetched” show with its “ridiculous, over-the-top emotions.” But he really amped up his criticism after I’d had it on constantly in his living room for the past few months, binge watching with my mom to get her up to speed for the revival.

Every so often he’d be in the room while we watched an episode and make comments like “Scully is useless. Always nay-saying Mulder or getting knocked down.” However, the more the show went on and the more bits and pieces he saw, the more he came to like Scully. “She doesn’t take anyone’s bullshit does she?” “Yes! She shot the evil nurse!” “Wow, she kicked his ass!” Aside from gaining more respect for Scully, (which she obviously deserves) my dad happened to sit with my mother and me watching the end of “Closure,” and gained more respect for the show as a whole.

Just by catching an episode here or there, my dad was learning key parts of the story and getting to know the characters and their motivations. Though he hadn’t seen the episode before leading into “Closure,” or most of that episode itself, he knew enough about Mulder’s search for Samantha, the cloning project, and CSM screwing with Mulder’s heart, that he desperately wanted Mulder to find his sister. I mentioned that this was a great part for him to see.

My dad is a social worker who every day witnesses first hand the unspeakable  cruelty and suffering that evil people inflict on children. He’s been waken up one too many times in the middle of the night by a call informing him of a child fatality–some crime that would steal God’s breath away, as Mulder says of the children’s graves at the Santa Village.

“Why is this a good one for me?” My dad asked.

I told him about the walk ins. How they come to save the souls of children from the great suffering they would experience in life, so they can live forever in the starlight. How the starlight is billions of years old by the time we see it, always traveling, always alive. How its the one thing in the universe that never dies. As I spoke, the beautiful spirits of children were playing, holding hands, laughing, at peace. “My Weakness” played over the scene as Mulder walked through, his face showing a profound reverence. And there was Samantha. The real Samantha. Finally. After all these years. Samantha at fourteen. Samantha free from the tortures of her alien captors.

The beauty of this moment is that the audience feels they’ve been searching with Mulder for Samantha just as long as he has. And finally we all have our closure. As Samantha ran into her brother’s arms and smiled, Mulder could see that she was happy. Now, at last, he could be free.

“You just gave me chills,” my dad said. “This is so sad.”

At first I thought “Aha! I knew it! You love this show! No one can resist the files!” and then I thought, he’s right. It is sad. I watched him watching the show, eyes tearing.

Multiple times during our binge-watch, my mom had called this is the saddest show ever. She might be right. But I love it. It’s sad because Mulder and Scully’s challenges get harder and the forces working against them never relent. They suffer great losses and the conflict is always building, the threat always growing in intensity. It’s a story I can get totally lost in. That’s because of all the emotion the characters go through. It’s a good sad. And it never gets old to get lost in. Because I’m always seeing it anew.

And as Scully says in the season 8 episode “Deadalive,” “The truth may hurt, but it’s the only thing that matters.”

I saw a rumor floating around the Internet recently that only confirms what I’ve thought all along about Scully’s inability to die or be killed. Could Mulder’s partner really be immortal? If so, this could be of major importance in the revival.

1. In the season 3 episode “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose,” Mulder and Scully meet a psychic who can predict how people will die. When Scully asks him how she dies, he says quite confidently, “you don’t.” Okay, so that’s weird. He might be lying though. Or joking. We really don’t know. Besides, Scully comes really close to dying of cancer in season 4, right? Well Scully doesn’t actually become immortal until season 6.
2. Scully’s supposed immortality comes in the season 6 episode “Tithonus,” who in Greek mythology is a character who lives eternally, but begs for death. This is the plight of the character we find in “Tithonus,” written by Vince Gilligan. Alfred Fellig is a photographer who once cheated death by looking away from him and letting someone else die in his place. Now, after living over 100 years and unable to die, Fellig shows up at crimes scenes, having a sense of when people are about to die, trying to snap a shot of death so he can finally escape. Scully questions why he would want to do such a thing. How can you have too much life? She asks. There’s too much to learn and to experience. Fellig responds that 70 years is long enough. After you see everyone you know die, you start to think about the big thing they all get to experience, and that you miss out on. At the end of the episode, Scully is fatally shot. Fellig tells her to close her eyes—not to look at death—and he takes her place. This means Scully takes Fellig’s place as the one who cheated death—the immortal one.
3. A scant 4 episodes later in “Monday,” Mulder and Scully are caught in some sort of time loop in which the day starts over and over without their memories of it ever having happened. What causes the day to reset? It seems to be Scully’s death. While trying to get a bank robbery under control the bank blows up with her inside it again and again. The theory is that since Scully can’t die, this event can’t happen, and so the day resets until Mulder and Scully able to get it right—with Scully walking out alive. The fact that another character dies in Scully’s place makes the theory all the more interesting. It would seem that for this gift, a high price must be paid. That for one to receive eternal life, other lives must be sacrificed.
4. Scully’s ouroboros tattoo that she receives in the season 4 episode, “Never Again,” while contemplating her terminal cancer diagnosis, is an ancient symbol for immortality. The snake biting it’s own tail has no beginning and no end. Her sudden urge to get this tattoo, which calls to her immediately upon entering the shop, foreshadows her journey to come—how she comes to the brink of death with her cancer, but will continue to live, maybe forever. Speaking of sacrifice, and the balance of life and death in the universe, the ouroboros is also associated with the unity of all things. Indeed, she seems to be destined for this, and on The X-Files, nothing is coincidental or unintentional.
5. Most importantly, when asked if there is any credence to the theory of Scully’s immortality, Chris Carter recently told the Huffington Post: “It’s certainly been suggested, but I can tell you this: stay tuned for episode 6.” Now, Chris Carter is infamous for these vague responses to questions, and wants everything to be a complete surprise for the fans (which we love him for). So this could just be a marketing strategy to get people even more excited about the revival and to make sure they watch until the very end. Or, it could be we’re in for one hell of a finale. Possibly one where only someone who can’t die can save the day. I can hear Mulder now….“I’ve had a theory that I’ve kept to myself for a long time.” Scully, ever the skeptic, would be hesitant to believe such a thing about herself. I always wondered where the show would go with this. Could Scully’s immortality be the key to something big in the show’s mythology? And will she remain immortal? I for one, have never been more eager to find out.